The gift of being the underdog.
It has been one of those weeks when you realise something fundamental about what makes you tick, and it came in the form of rejection and undervaluing.
Let me elaborate a bit, without giving away the identities of the culprits. One of the rejections was personal, enough said and the other came from a couple of people giving me their “expert” advice about what I can or can’t do.
This underestimation or even worse, knocking me down is something I’ve grown accustomed to from a very young age. You see I was born in London and grew up in Tottenham at a time when being from a different ethnicity wasn’t easy, not that it’s particularly easy today but back then it was a totally different ball game. Then throw into that being a girl who just didn’t fit into the stereotypical feminine little girl, preferring to play football in the park than play with dolls meant I stood out.
I went to a school in a rough part of London which was more multicultural than most places at the time. Our school even made it into the national news because we went on strike, causing mayhem around the area! Most teachers struggled with these dynamics, unlike today when it is so commonplace that teachers have the hang of it, kind of.
So, I left school with zero qualifications, ok I lie I got the equivalent of one GCSE. One of my teachers told me I wasn’t intelligent enough to go into higher education. Another said “You won’t pass your English exam!”. But to her surprise, English was the only exam I did pass, I’ll elaborate on this later.
I dreamed of being a barrister, so I kept going. I went to college to retake my exams and try to get into university, even getting two conditional offers from universities to study law. And I was on course, but my parents messy divorce smack bang in the middle of my A’levels sent me off path and I didn’t get to university.
Fast forward a couple of decades, now with three children under the age of 12, I got into university to study Computer Science. While studying I worked nights slicing bread in ASDA’s. Eventually I got my degree, 1st Class honours too. I went on to complete a Post Graduate degree and a Masters. I’ve had a good career, promoted to middle leadership whilst completing my teacher induction year and even having a national role.
But why am I bringing all this “bigging myself up!” here, now?
Because in spite of everything I’ve achieved, even writing and publishing my own book recently, those voices from my childhood sit very firmly in my mind ready to resurface as soon as I hear “you can’t do that, you’re not good enough!” For a while I’ll feel deflated and my body will slump.
But what these people don’t know about me is that it is precisely because of my childhood that their comments add fuel to the fire. They remind me that I’ve been there many times before and not once have I been defeated.
After my divorce for a long time, I felt like someone had kicked me in the head; nothing made sense. It was like the rug had been firmly pulled from under my feet and with no foundation to stand on, I thought, this time I’m beaten. Then life threw in a redundancy and now it really felt like I must have acquired some pretty bad karma somewhere along the line.
And yet a short time later I embraced the gift of being free, like wow, I get to be who I want and do what I want, well except for a few money issues.
This week I’ve realised it is precisely because of all those difficulties and let downs in my life that I am an expert underdog! – Maybe I should add this to my CV.
Being underestimated and being an underdog is where I thrive because it’s all I know. When things are easy, I’m not motivated but when someone tells me “You can’t!” and then they add something like “it can’be done that way!” - they’ve just handed me the greatest gift. Now my energy is pumped and that
“Really did you just say I can’t?”
becomes my catalyst to get up and do exactly that thing they said I can’t, mostly likely in exactly the way I want.
So, if you are sitting with your body slumped in defeat, let me tell you that the moment you believe you can, you will. And all those people that underestimated you, that imposed their fear and insecurities on you, well they are wrong.
Take those words that were thrown at you without any idea of who you really are and turn them into the gift that they are.
Go fellow underdog, I’m right by your side!
If this resonates with you, then read my book, ‘How did I get here?’ to start your journey to a life free from your past and that aligns with your true self.
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