The Common Denominator of Success
Recently, I've grown increasingly preoccupied with trying to understand why, in the last few years, I've lacked the motivation and drive that I once had. I've come to see that this is partly down to misconceptions that I've been taught around my spiritual path, the idea that to be a 'good' Buddhist, I must disengage in worldly pursuits and focus on enlightenment, which isn't likely to happen in this lifetime anyway, as we are constantly reminded.
Connected to these misconceptions is the notion that as Buddhists, our primary focus should be on benefiting others rather than ourselves. Although this is an inherently positive aspiration, I've realised that it has inadvertently led me to perceive any personal desire for individual success as selfish.
I've reached a point where I feel it's time to examine my spiritual journey and find a better balance in my life. I've noticed a pattern among those who claim to have achieved high spiritual insights – what I often see are inflated egos, quite the opposite of what I've believed spiritual growth is about. So, I've made the choice to step away from that path for a while and focus on my personal goals.
This new direction has led me to really focus on developing my Life Coaching and to delve deeper into the intricacies of success.
It was during this exploration that I stumbled upon a short piece written in 1940 by Albert Gray, initially meant to inspire life insurance professionals. What's fascinating is how profoundly inspiring it turned out to be, applicable not just to those in the insurance field but to anyone navigating the path to success in their personal, professional, or spiritual journey.
Gray begins with this profound insight:
"The common denominator of success... the secret of success for every man who has ever been successful... lies in the fact that he formed the habit of doing things that failures don’t like to do."
He further contends that, contrary to conventional wisdom, hard work alone doesn't guarantee success; many achieve success without working tirelessly, he adds.
Intriguingly, Gray set out not only to uncover what successful individuals did but also to understand the motivations behind their actions. Ultimately, he concluded that what most people in insurance sales avoided were:
Prospecting
Calling
Selling
Working
Expanding on this, Gray states that many insurance salespeople often direct their prospecting efforts toward individuals who express a want for, rather than a genuine need for, life insurance. While this approach may lead to smoother sales transactions, it inadvertently overlooks a significant segment of individuals who actually require the product. Personally, I find the challenge of selling to those who genuinely need the product to be a struggle as well – something that is outside my comfort zone no doubt.
Gray underscores this crucial point — for success, we must commit daily to not only establishing success habits but also maintaining them. He contends that this is why, despite attending inspiring workshops or setting clear intentions to pursue our goals, we often fall short. The reason, he posits, is that the promises we make are to ourselves, and it's easier to settle for less than to persist in striving for aspirational goals.
What distinguishes those who succeed from those who don't, according to Gray, is the presence of purpose in their lives. This purpose, he emphasises, must be big and beyond logic because, as he points out, there's no courage or true happiness in logic—only satisfaction. Purpose, he argues, should be substantial, something that one can never truly surpass, otherwise we will just stop once it is achieved.
In conclusion, Gray imparts a valuable lesson:
“To genuinely succeed in any endeavour, whether in our professional or personal life, or in achieving short-term goals like personal fitness, we must cultivate the resilience to tackle tasks that many ‘don’t like to do.”
Gray reminds us that it's not just about establishing success habits; it's about upholding a commitment to ourselves and refusing to give up. Even on days when we catch ourselves talking ourselves out of getting up early or completing intended tasks, we must shift that inner dialogue and push ourselves to follow through.
Consistently breaking promises to ourselves forces us to question our self-worth and the value we place on our own lives. To achieve true success, we must firmly believe we are worthy of more and unequivocally deserve better.
Now, I encourage you to reflect on your life's purpose, make a pledge to build your life around this purpose, and commit to doing only those things that propel you towards your vision for yourself and your life, echoing Stephen R. Covey's mantra:
“See, Do, Get!”
If you find yourself struggling with defining your life's vision or struggling to adhere to habits that lead you there, I'm here to help.
Start by reading my book, 'How did I get here?: A guide to letting go of your past and living in alignment with your true self,' for profound insights into how your past influences your present and future.
Access my Free Resources to learn how to identify and break free from habitual thinking patterns.
Join one of my online courses designed to support you to move forward in your life.
If your dreams are ambitious and you're committed to transforming yourself and your life, consider booking a complimentary coaching session with me to explore whether working together aligns with your journey.
No matter which direction you decide to take, just keep in mind that your success is dependent on taking action, even when it’s not what you like to do.