Should I give up my dream?

Over the last few weeks, I’ve worked in five different schools locally and met hundreds of young people. Working with young people often leads to many interesting conversations and I wanted to share this one with you.

I was with a group of very bright year 11’s, that’s children between the age of fifteen and sixteen. In my day that would have been their last year at school however that changed a few years ago and now the legal school leaving age is eighteen. In fairness, they do have the option to go to college or an apprenticeship if school doesn’t work for them.

So I got talking to a few of these young people and asked them what they were planning to do after year 11. Most said they would be staying on, except for two girls that told me they were going to a local performing arts college.

“Oh that’s great, I didn’t know we had a specialised college of performing arts locally” I replied.

To which one of the girls responded

“Well the headteacher said it wasn’t good to leave school to pursue a childhood dream”

I can’t say how many times I’ve heard career educationalists give this sort of advice but I didn’t want to completely contradict the headteacher so instead, I asked:

“Why did he say that, what was his reasoning?”

The young girl explained that the head teacher told her that it would be better if she stayed on at school and pursued acting and songwriting at a later date.

Although as the young girl pointed out, schools encourage good students to stay on because it improves the numbers (and revenue!). So whilst the advice might sound logical, especially to those with a vested interest in maintaining the status quo, it isn’t necessarily in the best interest of the child.

And I understand that making it in the field of arts is difficult. The chances of making it are small, we’ve all heard the stories of the starving aspiring artist. However, starting your career as an artist later in life can only make it more difficult, especially if you have dreams of acting or singing.

On the other hand, going to university later in life is often better, it certainly was for me. I didn’t start studying for my degree until I was thirty-eight. By then I had the maturity to stick to the late nights and to willingly make the compromises that are required to write a long dissertation or research for an assignment. By thirty-eight I had a family and my partying days were over anyway.

On top of that, I chose a subject based on how it would help me in the working world, unlike what a lot of young people do, which is choosing a degree because of some romantic view of the subject. Not to say that you should only study for a degree because of the career prospects, if you have passion for a subject then that might be a good enough reason. However, considering the fees today it is wise to consider the burden of debt that comes with it.

Don’t quit your daydream.

Putting all that aside what really disturbed me about this headteacher’s advice was the total disregard for the child’s personal dreams, something I certainly could resonate with from my own childhood. Not that I wanted to be a singer or actor, but I did dream of being a high-flying barrister. But my teacher suggested I learn to type instead.

Now I know it might be difficult for some educationalists to understand that there is more than one way to live life and that doing well in school is no indicator of future success.

And yes I understand that people that work in the education system have a vested interest in maintaining its credibility but it is time for us to see how outdated this viewpoint is.

The world is a very different place today than it was when state education was first introduced and the primary goal was to prepare children for the factories. I’d even argue that the role of a teacher is no longer to churn out endless information that any child can find at a click of a finger.

So eventually I decided to tell the young girl what I really believed because she needed to know. I told her to listen to a song, one of my favourites at the moment, called Daydream by Lily Meola. The chorus goes like this:

Darlin', don't quit your daydream

It's your life that you're making

It ain't big enough if it doesn't scare the hell out of you

If it makes you nervous

It's probably worth it

Why save it for sleep when you could be living your daydream?

Nobody knows what is around the corner so if you have a dream, however crazy it might seem to the outside world and this dream is constantly pulling at you, then you should at the very least explore it.

Yes, some people will tell you that you need to grow up and be responsible, believe me, I’m still being told that!

Don’t be pressured to give up living a life inspired by your dreams. Yes, you may very well fail or at some point find that your dream is no longer your dream. And that’s ok too.

Because what is worse than failure is regret and looking back at your life asking yourself “what if?”

Anna Zannides

Anna Zannides, Author of ‘How did I get here?’ and Breakup and Divorce Coach.

Contact Anna anna@annazannides.com

http://www.annazannides.com
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